


Playing the Hand Dealt-Sherlock

by mphelmsman



Series: It's all in the Cards [11]
Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Angst, Big Brother Mycroft, Brothers, Hospitalization, M/M, Tarot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-09
Updated: 2015-08-09
Packaged: 2018-04-13 18:46:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,831
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4533150
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mphelmsman/pseuds/mphelmsman
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mycroft admits to Sherlock his errors and makes a surprisingly sentimental gesture.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Playing the Hand Dealt-Sherlock

**Author's Note:**

> I'm changing the way I deal with the series slightly. I'm naming each story for the character I was focusing on when I drew cards rather than on the cards themselves. I hope that will make it easier to relate the interpretations to the action.
> 
> Images are of Robin Woods Tarot to which I own no copy write. The interpretations are my own

_** The World Reversed ** _

 

_** The World card of the Major Arcana is the culmination of the Spiritual Journey that started with the Fool. It represents the best of all possible outcomes and very often the need to rest and be ready to start again learning the next facet of one’s consciousness which is infinite and therefore never fully known. This card reversed means that although that end goal can be seen there is still much to be learned before attaining this state. It is not a disaster, merely a reminder that the journey represented in the Major Arcana must be taken step by step. There is no way to jump ahead; no matter what mental or spiritual superiority you think you have, you are only ever striving for your own better self. This card in a reading signals that the fulfillment is possible but must be earned. ** _

 

_** 2 of cups ** _

 

_** This card often signals a union or marriage or a yearning for such as the suit of cups often pertains to one's emotional life. It indicates a meeting of hearts and the courage that makes the couple take steps to make it public. It is when a couple shows their love before others that it gains power in the outer world. It is much a part in many world civilizations that the sharing of a cup was part of a marriage ceremony. This is still reflected in reception toasts in traditional western ceremonies. Still as a Minor Arcana the connection can be limited in scope, a love for a lifetime, it is in the Major Arcana that the Karmic ties of the Lovers shows connections that last from life to life as a soul bond. But even the Karmic connection of the Lovers needs the ritual expressed in this card to have fulfillment in one's present lifetime. The recognition of the bond is as important as the bond itself. ** _

 

_** 2 of Pentacles Reversed ** _

  
_** The Two of Pentacles indicates an imbalance in the physical world, often one of conflicting goals that one is struggling to juggle. There is a danger of falling from the balance needed to accomplish anything much less that goals that are competing for you time and energy. It is time to firmly prioritize them in your own mind if in nothing else. It does not mean you have to give up one of the goals; it just indicates that no one can do everything at once. It's time to figure out what is most important and commit to it or else one can lose everything. ** _

_** ** _

 

 

Sherlock stood outside the room where his lover lay unmoving and only breathing with the aid of a machine. The nurses had come once again to suction out the tube that connected John to the ventilator. Sherlock knew that if he had to listen to the choking and twitching that procedure caused in his lovers unconscious body once more he was going to crumble altogether. Or he’d do something unforgivable to a nurse only doing their job.

_**** _

A few days ago it had seemed to Sherlock as if he finally had everything that he had been dreaming of. John and he had gone on cases just as they used to but when it was over they always ended the night tangled together in their bed. Often it was simply to rest if the case had outstripped John's and sometimes Sherlock’s stamina. But also sometimes they crashed together in an adrenalin fueled passion that let them rest even better. It seemed as if those two years away and the disaster of his returning had never really happened. He had been a fool to think that just because they mostly acted as they always had outside the walls of 221B that their enemies would still see them as such. The former Mrs Watson assuredly knew what the reality of John's relationship with him was and hers was mostly likely the woman behind the shot that night.

_**** _

"Brooding over past errors will help the good doctor very little." Mycroft's cool voice pulled him out of his reverie. 

_**** _

" **My** past errors. If you had included John the planning for Lazarus he would have been with me where he wanted to be instead of vulnerable to the highly trained assassin that you allowed to infiltrate his life." Sherlock snarled in a low voice. Harry Watson was sitting at her brother's bedside at the moment and he did not wish to reveal more to her than he already had. The sheet of scrawls that had been under his hand when he fell asleep that first day had disappeared and he hadn't looked very hard for it. It carried his hopes that it would be presented to John; that John would survive to read it himself. For Sherlock the words were engraved on his soul. 

_**** _

"That.....is correct." Mycroft said and Sherlock turned to him in shock. His brother never revealed that something had happened he had been unprepared for. Mycroft looked absorbed with examining the mahogany handle of his ubiquitous umbrella. But small details of a slight crease in his jacket and a cuff that was uncovered a bit too much showed that the elder Holmes was most unsettled indeed. "My predecessor has informed me of such in no uncertain terms."

_**** _

"I was not aware that you had a predecessor in your  **minor** government position." Sherlock tilted his head to observe his brother. Mycroft was.... embarrassed from the way he shifted slightly under Sherlock's gaze; another unprecedented occurrence.

_**** _

"That something is unknown does not mean it does not exist.That has been emphasized to me. I did not know the extent to which you would go for John Watson but I do not believe I will forget the outcome in the next decade." Now Sherlock had to look away, the threat to John had let out the half bestial hunter in him; something he and John had not yet addressed. A part of him distantly wondered if that part of his otherwise rational psyche scared John as much as it did him.  


_**** _

For a moment Sherlock was back at that Christmas night, on his knees as laser scopes focused on his; the only thought in his head that he must save John even if it cost him his miserable excuse of an existence. “You are here no doubt to drag me off to fulfill the mission that allowed me to slay dragons in England."

_**** _

"Perhaps even six months ago I would have but I was advised to reassess matters. So I conducted a survey of the records of your time away and noticed that they all took much more time and you incurred many more injuries than you did with Doctor Watson at your side." Mycroft looked into the room where John lay, "He is a remarkable man and I confess now he could have been an asset in your crusade rather than the vulnerability I thought he was."

_**** _

"He is my pressure point, Mycroft. Magnussen taught me that at least and those who I was hunting would have used him against me without a qualm." Sherlock replied bitterly.

_**** _

"But he is remarkably adaptable when it comes to you, Sherlock." Mycroft answered with a faint smile on his thin lips, "As your handler, based in a very secure location, he could have made sure you were more thorough in the planning stages. He might have saved me the Serbian legwork altogether and would have been more than valuable for that alone."

_**** _

"What difference does that make now?" Sherlock said between clenched teeth as his shoulders ached where the scar tissue pulled. He knew John would have never allowed them to occur. He always stopped to caress and soothe them in their bed as if he could will them to disappear.   


_**** _

"Nothing to what has occurred but you do know how I detest repetition of errors." Mycroft brushed a bit of dust off his sleeve a tell of his discomfort.  


_**** _

"I wasn't aware you admitted to any before this." It was an automatic rejoinder but Sherlock could not help but listen.  


_**** _

"Many times you have known or even wished to know very little of my actions... and my regrets. I admit I do rather tend to hide them from you. Another error it seems; you did not believe when I warned you off Charles Augustus Magnussen. Perhaps you believed I could provide a safety net." Mycroft looked down again the light glinting off the light charcoal grey suit he wore and made the red of the tie resemble blood that much more.

_**** _

"Get to the point brother." Now that the nurses had cleared from the room he ached to be back at John's side. His only reassurance at the moment was that he could hear the steady beeping of the heart monitor from where he stood. It was better to hold John's hand and feel pulse under the skin beat directly to his fingers. He cursed himself again for leaving John in a similar hell to the one he had now trapped himself in. He had allowed Mycroft's error, deferring to what he thought was the superior judgement of his elder sibling.

_**** _

"I have only three at the moment Sherlock. First I have come to tell you that the marriage of John Watson and Mary Morstan has been annulled so the good doctor is free to make other....connections when he is well. The second is that once your.....partner is out of critical care we can move you both to a secure location where he can recover and you can work on what the government requires of you with minimal oversight. I have requested of Inspector Lestrade to liaison with the Met on this matter."

_**** _

"And the third?" Sherlock knew his voice was thick as an unprecedented gratitude towards his brother rose up in him. Mycroft was providing a the very thing he had said he could not; a place for John to heal and Sherlock to work, a safety net in other words.  


_**** _

Mycroft brought out a small jewelers box, "I cannot see you desiring to merely shop for something when it matters the most to you but a bond such as you and John Watson have should have a material representation. I requested father's old signet ring. He hasn't worn it for years anyway."

_**** _

Sherlock took the box and opened it to look at the Holmes family crest engraved on the small gold ring. "You've resized it for John." he stated through numb lips. He could already see it on John's smallest finger. 

_**** _

"Of course. He is most certainly already a member of the family now. We shall take care of him together."

_**   
Sherlock couldn't speak but allowed himself to lean slightly against Mycroft as he allowed the overdue tears of fear mixed with those of new gratitude to flow and for once trusted his brother to shield the sight of them from the rest of the World.  ** _


End file.
